Bismillahir Rohmanir Rahim.
Praise be to Allaah.
May perfect and complete blessings and peace be upon our Prophet.
Property, children, this life is the adornment of the world. Eternal good deeds are better in the sight of the Lord in terms of reward and hope. (Surat al-Kahf, 46)
From ancient times the people have been proud of having many children, their help and relief from their burdens.
The people around the children serve as role models for him, whether at home, on the street, or at school.
The parent should prepare necessary and useful activities that will fully cover the child's time, and those activities should develop the child's consciousness.
In the upbringing of a child, society has played the role of mentor, guide, and developer.
Whoever you talk to today will immediately complain that your child is being affected by destructive ideas. In most households, the child has become a global problem.
Prevention and precautionary measures against attacks on young people via the Internet are being sought. But most of the measures mentioned are purely theoretical, not applicable in practice. That is why raising children has become a topical issue in many homes today.
Here are some of the ones most commonly used today:
- My child doesn't understand me…
- My child rebels against me…
"He won't obey me."
- My son is not on the right track, he has joined the hooligans. Does not obey me…
- He doesn't do anything when I order him to work, he doesn't pay attention to his lessons…
- Addicted to useless things…
- He ignores prayer and does not listen to my advice…
- She loves to wear beautiful, latest fashion clothes and go out with girls…
- He likes to ride in the car.
- Sleep during the day and watch stupid movies at night…
- He is rude and angry with his brothers…
- Does not sit with family, does not serve guests…
- He lies a lot and feels like a stranger at home…
- He doesn't sit at home, he considers his wishes as an obligation to his parents…
- He does not reveal his desires, his inner pain, lives life without a purpose…
- Lack of self-confidence, strength…
- Suddenly dreams of fame…
After having the appearance of so many problems, there is definitely a solution to it. Here are some of them.
REASONABLES:
Many parents are accustomed to being content with the primary cause and solution. But they have not at least once thought of a search for the essence of the problem, a study of the cause of it, and ways of overcoming it. The causes of this problem are divided into:
Internal main reasons:
1. Parents.
Lack of a specific and clear purpose in managing the home or the family as a whole being deprived of it. As our scholars say, children are often spoiled because of their parents.
2. To make a mistake in asking Allah for real help or not to ask at all.
3. Lack or ignorance of parenting methods in the early stages of the child.
4. Excessive or no supply at all.
5. The child has no purpose in education or is unable to master the lessons. The child goes to school under the pressure of his parents and doesn’t realize what he’s going through.
6. Dissatisfaction with parents.
7. Excessive satisfaction of needs.
8. Fear of the coach.
9. Hearing sweet and warm words from others without seeing love from parents.
10. Parents quarrel in front of their children.
11. Praise only one of the children.
12. Putting work or needs on a busy child and not paying attention to others.
13. Lack of peace, which deprives the child of peace and comfort, and exacerbates anger, conflict, and shouting.
14. The father is not at home for a long time and is not at a dangerous time.
15. Exaggeration of a small or insignificant error.
Contradiction between what you see at home and what is required (asking the child for life and then allowing him or her to watch the naked, naked).
16. Lack of clear rules in the family.
17. Not to accept the child's mistake as his own, depending on his age, level, feelings, thinking. It is a parenting mistake for a father to compare his child to his peers around him or to neighboring children, because each child has his own personality and nature.
External influences.
1. The teacher does not know the purpose of the science he teaches. As a result of imparting knowledge only for the purpose of examination or simply for the purpose of conveying knowledge, educational institutions have become, as Master Yahya ibn Ibrahim put it, a place where paralysis laughs at one another.
2. The absence of a role model on the streets and in mosques.
3. The inverse of social relations to the methods of upbringing.
4. The abundance of factors that provoke lust.
5. The expansion of the places and areas of lust.
6. Plenty of bad friends due to the development of communication tools.
7. Multiple negative effects. For example, the tricks on TV and radio and the distortions that have taken over people’s emotions. External influences also occur through trade, and as a result a person does not know why he received what he received and how to use it.
8. Inadequacy of education and upbringing to the requirements of life and time.
9. Lack of time spent in education and upbringing.
As mentioned, there are many internal and external causes, as well as many remedial measures. Here are some of their misconceptions.
1. Distinguish themselves from their peers by their appearance.
2. He should always be treated rudely, harshly and beaten. Hence the disorder of the child's behavior.
Reasons for a father to be rude to a child:
- the father's use of his dominion and power;
- parents have a misconception that the child is rebellious and backward, and therefore understand that it is necessary to raise their children only strictly.
- the father was brought up strictly in his youth and wants to bring up his child in the same way;
- the father was brought up as a man at a young age, he was strict because he did not want his child to make a mistake;
- The father's harshness in the upbringing of the child due to the mother's kindness and carelessness.
3. Giving oneself the freedom to criticize oneself.
4. Give multiple reprimands.
5. Insult.
6. Not being punished for a mistake.
7. Make them feel that what they are doing is being monitored.
8. Stop doing what you are doing or playing the game you are playing.
9. Seeing children over each other.
10. Immerse yourself in a light and luxurious life.
11. Applying someone’s method despite social and personal differences.
12. To give children various difficult examples in the process of education, regardless of their abilities and age.
13. Expect immediate results and results for every step you take in the field of education.
14. Focus only on negative qualities.
15. Following the words of the ignorant: "Do not pay attention to him, time will educate him."
16. Some fathers believe that "children grow up according to their father's wishes, endurance and strength, as well as their dreams."
17. Create child-centered tables with the concept that “they have the same strengths”.
18. Going too deep and exaggerating in surprise at the work he has done or in praising the child.
19. To write off or deprive a child of his or her peers, neighbors and relatives.
20. A father who comes to his senses late, even doing some nonsense in front of his children.
21. A parent’s lying upsets a child’s imagination and changes it.
Claim: Today, we must not bury our heads in the ground and close our eyes to an event full of confusing information. And, of course, the mosque, the madrasa, the street, the house in the society in which we live - all of these were the only guiding educational factors, but now we need to realize that our children are guided by the whole world and every face.
According to its characteristics, the treatment is divided into zoti (domestic) and taawi (mutual aid).
Internal pedigree treatment:
1. Parental potential. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And (their fathers) were righteous fathers.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And when people die, leaving their own weak children behind, let them fear them as they have cared for them. So let them speak the truth out of fear of Allah. Niso 9.
2. Praying for the descendants of Abraham and Imran as their wives, as revealed in the Qur'an.
3. It is enough for us to always be in good morals, to be our guide. May our words never contradict our deeds. (not to break promises, to respect others, to visit relatives, to be able to evaluate events, personalities, situations correctly, to be generous and to put others above ourselves, to discriminate, to rebuke, to hurt to be far away.)
Peacock with a thousand bridles,
At the same time, the followers were very happy.
Asking them to be arrogant,
Of course, the answer to the question of weddings is permissible.
When a young plant grows, it is in the spring,
Whatever he gives, he is in charge of the gardener's father.
4. Narrated 'Umar ibn' Abdul-'Aziz: 'Umar ibn' Abdul-'Aziz (may Allah be pleased with him) was very pious and just after he became governor. They were very careful about people, including. One day, while handing out apples to the people, the little boys who were with them also took one of the apples and put it in their mouths, still pulling it out of their mouths, the child cried in front of his mother in great anger. The mother persuades the child to buy another apple. When he returned home in the evening, his wife asked him what had happened, and he said, “In fact, it was as if I had torn my heart out when I took the apple from his hand. "But I don't want people to be upset because of one apple." There is no doubt that Allah does not waste the reward of those who do good.
5. To teach lessons and research on how to behave in an effective conversation with someone (interacting with each other).
6. Focus on the positive aspects of the child, exposing, developing and nurturing him. (Ibn Sayyid)
7. Organize open and transparent conversations with children.
8. To instill in children the spirit of self-confidence, just as 'Abdullah ibn az-Zubayr did not run away like his companions when he saw' Umar on the street when his father sent him to pledge allegiance.
9. Creating love in the home between family members (children towards their parents). To do this, you need to spend more time sitting with the children and give them a wide heart.
Q: Why does a child see his friends more than his father and strive for them more?
10. To know the stage (period) in which the child is going. For example, 2 to 5 years is the age of discovery, research. The next period of growth is the age of agitation, intimidation, excitement, anger, confrontation, anonymity.
11. There is a balance between reality (norms, scales) and needs.
12. Leaving the elimination of tension and tension, help the child to find righteous friends and, if necessary, spend money on it.
13. Taking into account the words of Hadrat Ali. “There are many positive effects in playing with a child under the age of 7 and letting him know that his opinion is accepted or superior, including removing the barrier between them and bridging the gap between fathers and children, making them worse. It keeps you away from making friends with friends and getting bad information from them, and from similar destructive ways.
Friendship between parents and children increases the child's ability to accept advice and psychological talent.
The friendship between father and child clearly shows the father how much the child has developed mentally and spiritually, as well as the true power in the child.
14. It is important how much the child relates to his family. A child needs a sense of control that determines how much he belongs to his family and that he is an individual of that family. It is with this feeling that the child forms a social formation in himself and the child becomes the happiness of the family in the future.
The following are the factors:
partnership with the child's family in the management of household chores;
family cohesion and concealment of family problems;
to encourage the child to speak, to listen to them, to listen to their opinions;
giving them responsibility and instructing some children to do some family chores.
15. Recognize animals as their own and not give their children a car. This teaches the child to consider himself a stranger to his father and to prevent him from putting bad things in the car or smoking.
16. The type of car is also similar to the type of friends. Some of them are (heavy) calm, some are fast.
17. You don’t tell him to be careful of the pits in school, in the family, but to show people the right way.
18. Discipline is carried out through narration, narration, deprivation, return, abandonment.
19. He orders what he orders according to his attention, time and mood.
20. Doesn’t overwork because it (if any) depletes existing emotional reserves.
21. Development of reading skills in children from an early age.
22. To instruct him to do something on the road when he goes for a walk or vacation.
23. Pay attention to the differences between children, including the child's age, smallness, intelligence, maturity, and puberty.
Psychologically, it follows the following: illness, health, intelligence, alertness, quick-wittedness, stubbornness, mastery, quick-wittedness, and worldview.
24. Together, as a group, create a family goal and importance and hang it on the roof of the house.
25. Not to provoke quarrels between children, peers and relatives, and not to allow quarrels between them, so that they do not harbor resentment in their hearts from a young age.
As the poet said:
If you want to reach the top,
In the heart of the never-ending hostility is the courageous land.
If a person finds the water of behavior, he is angry,
It is impossible to claim the status of men.
I will stir up enmity,
I know the leaders are told to lie down and lift up.
How do you want to correct your child’s behavior?
In every word we say, our children are constantly arguing with us, so that all parents do not turn their fatherly duties into hell, and all parents do not spend a day of their ugly answers, rudeness. Here are some suggestions on how to look or get an appointment for hair extensions.
These are:
- Be sharp and open to them in what is possible and what is not possible. Because even if you don’t have a sharp threat about why the bad thing was returned, it’s much easier to prevent the child from merging with a sense of motivation. Know that the goal is not to make your child a beautiful, high-spirited person that is different from adults, but that you need to do the difference between being healthy and healthy in a healthy way and not being rude or disrespectful to others. . For example, when you say you don't like greens, close your mouth and take this cloth out of my sight. There is a difference between heaven and earth.
- Be a good example for them;
Of course, children learn most of their morals from adults - in a sense, from you and from those close to them.
When children grow up and reach the age to speak, tell them a lot of words like “thank you”, “please”, “sorry”, never make them laugh at others or say something disrespectful.
- When a child is overweight, the benefits are suspended. If a toddler is rude for something, he is stopped and told, "I don't want to go out in front of everyone with someone who treats me like that, do you apologize?" If he says no and continues in his whim, the car will stop and turn around.
Mistakes in parenting
"It is wrong for a parent to say, 'You idiot, you idiot, you idiot,' when a child makes a mistake." However, it is not the child himself but his actions that are wrong.
- Bringing up by beating. It is the biggest mistake to discipline a child by beating him when there are several types of punishment to reprimand and investigate when a child makes a mistake.
Important factors to be reprimanded before hitting:
- deprivation of loved ones;
- disconnect from it;
- reprimand;
- leave and put the pumpkin;
- Parents say that some of the actions of their children under the age of 10 will be taken to heaven, instead of giving them their favorite halva and the like;
- Raising children in the spirit of rivalry; Yet there is no one in the world who is alike. We need to keep in mind the unique characteristics of a person’s personality when dealing with children. From this we can say that it is a mistake for parents to see children as equals, despite the fact that their minds are different and their abilities are different. Comparing children to each other will eventually lead the little ones to jealousy and envy towards others.
- praying for them; what mothers hasten to do is bless them.
- failure to keep promises; Parents promise their children that they will not come. The boy hits when he arrives. The advice to them is that it is not in accordance with Islamic and educational morality to be unfaithful to our promises, no matter how big or small.
- show bad scenes; instead of awakening his honor and courage, to show him scenes that are bad and humiliating.
- give something you don't like; in fact it is the right thing to do to give what the child loves, not what the father loves.
- to lie to him; lying is the worst of the habits and deserves punishment. When a child’s role models lie to him or her, he or she will also lie. Gradually, the child becomes accustomed to lying.
- to say that if you listen to me, you will enter paradise; children cannot perceive emotional things until they are 10 years old, until this age their perception is what they see and touch. A piece of halva is sweeter to him than heaven.
This does not mean that his nature should not be inculcated with a love of heaven, but that it is a stage in relation to his age, and that he should conform to its rules and requirements. And after ten years, they will be able to talk about heaven and hell.
- to treat the student as a human being, not as a human being; parents mistakenly think that as soon as their child goes to school, they treat him as a student and at the same time have no other duty than to study. Most of the time, when we deal with a person who is made up of flesh and bones, a person who feels, feels and whose mind is also part of that feeling needs faith, physical and social attention for good growth. we forget that he has to have fun, to be sad or happy, to make friends.
- only emotion; Some parents pay attention to their emotions, especially their eyes, when dealing with their children. However, children have different abilities. Some understand better than they see and touch. Some are happy to hold your hand and hug you, and they will understand the information faster.
- Do not kiss or hug; the child needs the feelings of his parents caressing, kissing, and embracing him, and fills his necessary inner feelings with it. which is reflected in how happy the child feels when he is hugged by his parents.
- teaching children ablution and prayers very early; it is not permissible to order children under the age of seven to perform ablution along with their sunnah and fard. When a young child wants to pray with his father, it is not permissible to drive because he does not have ablution. The child begins to learn on his own, without any command or repetition, to pray, to read if he wants to, or not to read if he does not want to. Purification is taught with love and patience when one says, “I will perform ablution”.
- upbringing - eating, dressing and learning; most fathers understand upbringing as feeding their children, educating them in school, and giving them the best clothes. In fact, upbringing is about teaching children good manners, instilling values in their minds, and always observing what they say and do.
- early death; the child loves to draw, but the father says what a fool it is, that it is so ugly, that you are wasting your time on something useless. Calling children who love to break things down and rebuild them “master breakers” is an early loss of interest in the child. In fact, the easiest way to learn a child’s abilities is to observe their “mastery” rather than bringing a toy to the child. These skills need to be nurtured and nurtured through exploration and spending.
- memorizing the Qur'an with a stick; If we beat a child in anger and encourage him to memorize the Qur'an, he will link the pain of the beating to the Qur'an. As a result, he does not like the Qur'an. If we prevent them from playing the game to memorize the Qur'an, it will lead to frustration, depression, and sadness in life, and even to the use of tricks to get rid of it. (Imam al-Ghazali)
- Punishment without giving reasons; punishing children, saying you hit this and that for doing it, or punishing, they don’t explain why the child realized the mistake. This is immoral. In fact, it is necessary to explain the mistake before punishing the children, the punishment will be correct after the explanation, and then the punishment will be an educational factor, not a revenge for the anger that follows the child's mistake. Punishment also ensures that it is commensurate with the mistake.
- My father was like that; 'Umar said, "Educate your children with their time, not with your time." Fathers who beat their children should know this, just as they beat their children. To date, modern parenting sciences have invented a number of new parenting techniques, one of which is to prove that the effects of violent beatings leave a bad impression on a child’s psyche.
- "alabuji, bobo and licking old woman"; stop telling bad impression stories. Bad fairy tales have a bad effect on a child's psyche. Even in a dark house, he becomes a coward, unable to sit without anyone. That’s why it’s important to tell stories that make a child proud and teach them good manners. I inject, grandpa, eat it, and words like that scare a child badly. As a result, incurable cases occur.
- Nervous upbringing; The mother complains to the father, the father complains to the teacher, and everyone acts to the detriment of the child, causing the child to become nervous and, as a result, to hate education because of the teacher. There are some things that a father should do without informing the teacher, and some that should be done without telling the father. If the situation requires a home-school connection, the teacher should instruct the father without informing the child that the child is being monitored.
- Criticism of the child: The purpose of criticizing the child should, of course, be discipline and guidance. If a child makes a mistake, tell him, "You should have done this instead of doing that, I think you didn't do it on purpose." Then the child realizes that he has made a mistake and changes his behavior.
- not to play games with him; Some fathers see playing with their children as a waste of their time. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to take his grandsons Hasan and Husayn on them and play with them. By doing so, the father makes his children happy and happy, and leaving it will be a means of discipline and discipline instead of beating.
- Prohibit them from playing during the school year; another mistake parents make is to keep their children from playing and writing during the school year, tying them entirely to classes. This is against the nature of children growing up with play. That’s why we see so many children running away from lessons and classes because they are mentally depressed and deprived of the pleasure they have in their nature.
- not out of respect; (Please, please, sir) These words are not used by parents to their children, although they are necessary words that create sincere respect between parent and child. That is when a child learns to respect others, especially those older than himself.
- Satisfying achievement; another mistake is that the father overestimates the reward when the child responds correctly. In fact, according to the rules of proper upbringing, a moderate state of affairs is acceptable in every case.
- Expelling girls from the kitchen; There are some mothers who keep their daughters away from the kitchen and learning to cook. In doing so, they make a big mistake that they only realize when they marry their daughters. That is why mothers should teach their daughters at least one day a week from now on.
- Anger… anger; my advice to parents at all times is to keep their breasts wide open to children’s mistakes and to treat them right. May our children never cause us to get angry and shout at them!
- fight between husband and wife; the quarrel of the parents in front of the children is a real sacrifice for the little ones who see the mother being humiliated, the father being disrespected. This has a negative effect on the psyche of children. I wish parents would have resolved their misunderstandings in a low voice in their rooms, they would have had mercy on the dilbands.
- Do not spend time with the child, saying "I'm tired"; children eagerly await their father’s return from work so they can play together, learn something, and talk. But the father comes into the house because he is tired from work or nervous and asks no one to say anything. Such situations can lead to depression and despair in children. As a result, the father cannot be the friend they trust and rely on.
- not being aware of the situation at school; for the two-way parenting process to continue in the same way and be completed in full, of course, the fathers must be connected to the child’s teachers.
- insulting someone; some parents' meetings with their children are marked by criticism of leaders, teachers, neighbors, and various other categories of people. When children hear this, they follow their parents in insulting, gossiping, and ignoring others, and as a result, they disrespect no one.
- lack of control; what do they watch on TV, when do they watch and how much do they use, what sections do they go to, what newspapers do they read? Useful or useless? To know this, Parents must have non-violent control over their children. Doing all this without suspicion and doubt will go a long way in correcting mistakes and directing them in the right direction.
- Not to look at everyone equally: to look at everyone equally also plays an important role in the upbringing of children. Sometimes parents and coaches do not take this into account. However, this has a surprising effect on the child, who may not even listen to what is being said in the sense that the child is not looking at me as he looks at others.
- There is no excuse: a father's apology to a friend, son or wife sows in the child's soul the seeds of humility towards people and recognition of the rightful owners. But leaving an apology, whether documented or undocumented, can lead to the child not acknowledging his or her mistake and eventually becoming arrogant.
- A slap in the face: slapping a child in the face is an insult to his honor. This is what our religion forbids, because it is an insult to what Allah has made sacred and beautiful. This is the habit of only lazy educators.
- Substitution: One of our mistakes in upbringing is to respond instead of our children and speak their language. This is one of the factors that weakens the child's personality. For example, when a family member is sitting at a table, tell the child that he or she has a place in the family and that no one can replace him or her. Ask the child what he or she thinks about the issue. should be.
- Expressing fear in front of the child: the child is well affected by those around him, for example, if he sees his mother screaming in fear of insects, or if he knows that his father is afraid of a dog, he will definitely scream when he sees an insect.
- Corporal punishment: from an educational point of view, only financial incentives or gifts are not well appreciated. Because there are dozens of other factors that attract a child's attention. For example, encouragement, kind words, praise, traveling together, and so on.
- Sit with your family: the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to take Ibn Abbas in front of him, and because he was on his right side, he would give him a drink before the elders in the assembly. That is why he became a scholar of the Ummah and a translator of the Qur'an. So the upbringing that is required of us is to encourage children to sit with adults.
- I still tell the father: if the mother's personality is weak and unable to bring up her child, if she does not do good to her child, then she is lazy in raising her child properly and correcting her mistakes. So always; frightens him from his father that he will tell you when your father returns, and turns his father into the center of lightning in the house. But he can't do anything, even because his personality is weak and he hasn't been guided properly since he was young, when his child grows up, his mother steals his property and even beats him.
- The mistake that adults make: it is a great injustice for an adult to make a mistake in front of him and then punish the child for the same mistake without being punished. For example, if a child breaks a cup, takes it from his income, and then makes the same mistake as a mother who is older than the child, it is cruel and nothing will be punished.
- Abuse: Some parents are accustomed to harshly blaming their children for their abuse, which has the opposite effect. If a child makes a mistake, for example, he is called a failure if you do not return it well. Instead, let's start anew and learn from past mistakes.
- Your ear is gone: I will cut off your ear, I will break that fat, and so on, and so on. That is why there should always be weight and proof in our words.
- Investigation without explanation: it is better for a parent to tell a child how many times I told you to turn off the TV or it's time to go to bed and say that you have not yet prepared for your lessons, rather than to shout.
- Not going into their rooms: When one of the girls who worships the devil is questioned, he tells his parents that he has not been in his room for a year and a half. This means that parents should not neglect their children, but pay attention to what things and pictures are hanging on the walls of the room and what books are kept there. This is not to say that we should completely control them and let them know that we are monitoring them.
- Humiliation in front of others: Putting a child in an awkward position in front of peers, peers and neighbors is a humiliating, mentally debilitating act. Even this work has a severe effect on the nervousness of the child and will never benefit any child's development.
- Lying in a bed: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: (“Command your children to pray from the age of seven, beat them when they reach the age of ten, and separate them in their beds”).
- You are a man, don't cry: crying softens the feelings and emotions in the heart, tears brighten the eyes, and sometimes they come from within because of the joy and sadness you are experiencing. So crying is good in this sense, but masculinity, which is not unique to women, does not prevent it. The sons of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wept when Abraham died. Therefore children; it is wrong for us to stop men from crying as soon as they cry that they will not cry.
- A little deceiver: a child can tell imaginary experiences until the age of five. In reality, there is no trace of it. This is called an imaginary lie. There is nothing to be afraid of or disturbed about when we call a child a liar. Perhaps it is a condition typical of the period of natural growth, which passes quickly, beautifully.
- Do it without asking: it is very important to satisfy the child, both at home and at school, with the work assigned to him and the policy pursued. The consequences of using dictatorship against a child are bad, but instead it is useful to explain the essence of everything we command and do, so that our dealings with him do not consist only of orders that we have to do.
- Corporal punishment: in the presence of moral punishments such as turning away, quarreling, deprivation, humiliation of a child, limitation to beatings that provoke feelings of disregard, eventually make him an enemy. Therefore, when it is necessary to punish children, parents should first of all apply all moral punishments.
- Private school: Giving a child to a special school where he or she does not have the opportunity leads to theft in order to be financially equal to his or her classmates, just as his or her peers envy him or her. become a furnace. The result will be bad consequences in the future.
- To pretend to be serious from a lie: some fathers think that to be proud of their children is to squash and squat, which is a mistake. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was an example for us. He was always smiling, never frowning to respect the children, but laughing with them and teaching them knowledge. Therefore, they also loved and obeyed him.
- Disagreement in upbringing: one of the mistakes in upbringing is to reward the child with one action or one word and punish him when his brother does the same thing. In the same deed or word, when the father is punished, the mother rewards him in the absence of the father, or the other party beats and punishes him for another mistake while the father is praising and rewarding him. Doing the opposite in upbringing is a big mistake and extinguishes the persistence in the nature of the child.
- Injustice in treatment: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who was strongly commanded by our religion to treat children fairly, said, “Be just among your children, be just among your children”. Justice must be in all things, such as caressing, embracing, kissing, and so on. Especially when a second child arrives, mothers should not neglect the first one until their hatred and envy towards their brother grows and eventually harms their brother.
- Bad prayers: how much mothers are in a hurry to make bad prayers when children shout. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded, “Do not bless your children badly”. Such mothers think they have prayed in anger, but this work requires them to turn to the mother again.
