The wife's disobedience to her husband

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The wife's disobedience to her husband

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“If you fear the disobedience of your wives, admonish them first, and then (that is, if your advice is not blind), leave them in bed, (Do not lie down with them, do not approach) then (that is, even if they do not obey you), hit! But if they obey you, do not seek another way against them. Surely Allah is High, Great. (Surat an-Nisa ', 34).

Al-Wahidi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: "The meaning of 'disobedience' in this verse is to disobey the land, that is, to act arrogantly against one's husband's commands."

It is narrated that 'Ata' (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: That (ie, disobedience) is not weaving for one's husband (not sprinkling perfume), not allowing one to enjoy oneself, and not changing one's previous state of mut'a. . "Admonish such women with the Book of Allah, and remind them of what Allah has commanded them."

Ibn 'Abbas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Leaving them in bed means turning their backs on their wives in bed and not speaking to them, while al-Sha'bi and al-Mujahideen said, "Do not lie down with your wife or approach her."

The point of hitting them is to hit them hard, not to injure any of their limbs.

Ibn 'Abbas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: It is like touching one's chest with one's palm to be polite.

The husband must correct his wife's disobedience, as mentioned in this verse, in a manner permitted by God.

"If they obey you, do not seek another way against them."

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a man does not come when his wife calls him to his bed, and he stays up all night dissatisfied with her, the angels will curse her until dawn.” (Al-Muttaqoon).

In another narration, it is said, "By Allah, whoever invites his wife to his bed and she refuses, he will not be pleased with her until her husband is pleased with her." (Al-Muttaqoon)

Another narration says: "If a woman stays overnight leaving her husband's bed, the angels will curse her until dawn" (Narrated by al-Bukhari, Muslim, Nasai).

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The prayers of three categories of people will not be accepted and no good will ascend to heaven: until the fugitive slave returns to his masters and puts his hand in theirs; The woman who angered her husband was the one who displeased him until her husband agreed with her and the drunkard came to her senses. ”(Reported by Ibn Hibban, Ibn Huzaymah).

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: It is not permissible for a woman whose husband is present (who is not on a journey) to fast without her husband's permission and to allow someone to enter her house without her permission.

The ruling in this hadith applies to voluntary fasts, and since the husband's rights are great and his obedience is obligatory, it is not permissible for his wife to fast without asking his permission.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If I had commanded a slave to worship another slave, I would have commanded his wife to worship her husband.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi).

It is narrated on the authority of 'Abdullah ibn' Amr that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Allaah does not look at a wife who is ungrateful to her husband. However, she does not need her husband. ”(Narrated by al-Nasa'i, Bazzar).

It is narrated on the authority of Umm Salama that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever dies and her husband is pleased with her, he will enter Paradise.” (Reported by Ibn Majah, al-Tirmidhi).

It is narrated that on the Day of Judgment, the woman will be the first to pray and her husband will be asked.

It is narrated that if a woman leaves her house and her husband is dissatisfied, all the angels in the heavens and everything that passes by her, except the human jinn, will curse her until she returns home.

A woman should avoid annoying and annoying her husband and should not refuse him whenever she wants. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If the husband calls for need, let him come even if he is at the hearth” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, al-Nasaa'i, Ibn Hibbaan).

The scholars say: “Unless a woman is excused (menstruating or having intercourse), she should not answer her husband’s call. It is also obligatory for the husband not to demand this from his wife when she is excused, and not to approach her until the excuse is over and she has performed ghusl. Indeed, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

"So abstain from your wives during menstruation, and do not approach them until they have purified themselves." (Surat al-Baqara, 222)

It is narrated that whoever approached a menstruating woman or his wife, or went to a fortune teller and confirmed what he had said, he had disbelieved in what was revealed to Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

In another hadith, it is said, "Allah curses those who approach their wives' backs" (Narrated by al-Tabarani).

So, if the wife wants to have intercourse with her husband in an apologetic state, she should not obey, but should obey in all other cases.

Again, the wife should know that she cannot dispose of her desires and her husband's property without asking his permission. The rights of the husband take precedence over their own, and the rights of the husband's relatives take precedence over those of their own relatives. In order for her husband to be happy with her, he must be ready, paying attention to cleanliness. She should not be arrogant to her husband with her beauty, and should not blame him if he is ugly.

Asma'i says, “I went to the land of the Saharan Arabs. I met a couple there. The wife was beautiful and the husband was ugly. From his wife: "How did you agree to live under such a man?" I said, 'Listen, perhaps my husband has made a good difference between himself and his Creator, Allah, and he has rewarded me for him. "Perhaps I disobeyed him and he punished me."

'A'isha said, "O group of women, if you had known the rights of your husbands over you, every woman among you would have wiped the dust from her husband's feet with the cheeks of her face."

It is narrated that: “Your wives in Paradise are women who love and have children. If she is angry, or if she is mistreated, or if her husband is angry, she says, "My hand is in your hand, and I will not blink until you agree."

Also, a woman should always be ashamed of her husband, stare at the ground in his presence, obey his command and remain silent when he speaks, stand up when he enters or leaves, stay away from everything he does not like, and complain to him before going to sleep. not to betray him in his bed and property, to be always clean, to be accustomed to the use of miswak, to adorn himself when he is present, to sprinkle perfume on him, to leave his adornment in his absence, to make his family and relatives it is obligatory for him to pay homage and see the little things in public.

Season

Mute 'on the virtue of the woman and the suffering of the disobedient woman

A woman who fears Allahu ta'âlâ must obey Allah and her husband diligently and strive to gain His approval. After all, the husband is a woman’s paradise or hell.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever dies and his husband is pleased with her, he will enter Paradise.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, al-Haakim).

Another hadith states: "If a woman prays five times, keeps her chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter the gates of Paradise" (Narrated by Ibn Hibban).

It is narrated that the birds in the air, the fish in the water, the angels in the sky, and the sun and the moon apologize for the obedience of her husband as long as her husband agrees with her.

Whoever disobeys her husband will be cursed by God, the angels, and all men.

When a woman looks at her husband's face, Allah is displeased with him until she smiles at him and takes his heart.

If a woman leaves her house without her husband's permission, the angels will curse her until she returns.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: I looked at Hell and saw that most of its inhabitants were women.

This is because women are less obedient to Allah and His Messenger and their husbands. That is, when they go out into the streets, they adorn themselves, adorn themselves, wear beautiful, shiny clothes, and seduce strangers. That is why the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: A woman is' awrah. If he leaves his house, the devil will look at him. ”(Reported by al-Tabarani).

The more stable a woman is in her home, the closer she is to Allah.

Another hadith says: “Women are 'awrah. A woman leaves her house and there is no evil in her mind. But Satan looks at him and says, "You have surprised any man you pass by." Obviously, a woman wears her own clothes. He said, "Where are you going?" he says, "I will see the sick," or "I will attend the funeral," or "I will pray in the mosque." However, no woman has prayed to her Lord as she prayed at home. ”(Reported by al-Tabarani).

The reason Satan is riding on a woman’s shoulder is because he has gone out of his house and allowed Satan to take control of her. No woman seeks the approval of Allah as long as she prays to the Lord, obeys her husband, and sits at home.

Ali's wife asked Fatima, "O Fatima, what is the best thing for a woman?" When he was asked, he replied, "He does not see (foreign) men and (foreign) men do not see him."

'Ali said, "Are you not ashamed?" Don't you want to be jealous ?! You will allow your wife to go out among the men, and she will look at them, and they will look at her.

Umm Salama said, "The two of us, the monkeys, were in the presence of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)." At one point, Ibn Umm Maktum began to arrive. This incident was happening after we were ordered to wear the hijab. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, 'Hijab from him.' We said, 'O Messenger of Allah, is he not blind? They said, "They do not see us." He said, "Do you not see?" Don't you see him? ' (Reported by Abu Dawud, al-Tirmidhi).

Just as men are commanded to abstain from non-mahram women, so women are commanded to abstain from non-mahram men.

If a woman is forced to go out for necessary things, such as visiting her parents or relatives, going to the bathroom, she should go out with her husband's permission, wearing loose, thick clothes, without any make-up or knitting. When he is on the road, he should walk on the side of the road, facing the ground, without looking back and forth. But he will be rebellious.

It is said that a woman used to walk around when she left her house. When he died, one of his relatives saw him in a dream. He went to Allah azza wa jalla in a thin robe. Suddenly the wind blew and the woman opened up. Allah turned away from him and said, 'Take him by the left hand and throw him into Hell. He was one of the most beautiful people in the world. "

It is narrated on the authority of Mu'adh ibn Jabal that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: If a woman harms her husband in this world, his wife will say, 'May Allaah destroy him and do not harm him. He is just a temporary guest in front of you. He will soon leave you and come to us. ”(Reported by al-Tirmidhi).

Season

Just as a woman is commanded to obey her husband and gain his consent, so a husband is commanded to donate to his wife, to show mercy, to be patient with some of her wrongdoings, and to exercise her rights such as living well, eating and drinking, and dressing. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

"Be kind to them and live in peace" (Surat an-Nisa ', 19).

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware, always treat women well. They are only captives under your control. You cannot own anything other than them. Unless they commit adultery. If they disobey, leave them in their beds, then beat them so as not to injure them. If they obey, do not look for another way against them.

Be aware that you have a right over your wives and your wives have a right over you. Your right over them is that you don’t trample your bed on someone you don’t like and don’t let someone you don’t like into your home. The right of you is to give them clothes and food. ”(Reported by Ibn Majah, al-Tirmidhi).

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of you are the ones who are good to their families.” (Reported by Ibn Hibban).

It is narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayra that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: The faith of the believers is the most perfect character. The best of you are the ones who are kind to their wives. ”(Reported by al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban).

It is narrated in the play: “Whoever is patient with his wife's misbehavior, Allah will reward him with the same amount of money as Job (as). Whoever is patient with her husband's misdeeds, Allah will reward him with the same amount as Pharaoh's wife, Asiya bint Muzahim.

It is narrated that a man came to 'Umar ibn Khattab to complain about his wife's bad behavior. He came to 'Umar's door and waited for him to come out. At that moment, Umar heard his wife speaking harshly. The man was silent, without saying a word. The man said, "What would happen to me if I were an Admiral and a believer, and this was the case with 'Umar with such intensity and power?" he returned to the trail. At that time, 'Umar left his house and when he saw the man returning, he called him and said, "What do you need?" they asked. He said, “Admiral, I have come to complain to you about my wife's bad behavior and the length of her tongue. I see your wife is like that. I said, "What would happen to me if this were the case with the Admiral?" 'Umar said,' Brother, I have been patient with my wife because she has a number of rights over me. After all, she cooks my food, covers my bread, washes my clothes, and breastfeeds my baby. However, all this is not obligatory for him. Because of that, my heart will be comforted, and I will refrain from uncleanness. That is why I was patient. He said, 'O Commander of the Faithful, so is my wife.' 'Umar said,' Brother, be patient. This is only for a short time. "

The story

It is narrated that a righteous man had a righteous friend in the way of Allah and visited him once a year. One day he came to visit his brother and knocked on his door. Wife: "Who?" he asked. She said, “I am your husband’s brother in the way of Allah. I came to visit him. " His wife said, “He went to gather firewood. May Allah not return him unharmed, may he not be healed, may he not be harmed, may he not be harmed. ” While he was standing at the door, a handful of firewood came from the mountain side to his brother the lion. He greeted his brother, welcomed him, put the wood inside, and said to the lion, "Bless you, bless you now." Then he invited his brother inside. His wife was still cursing, hurting with her tongue, and her husband was silent without saying a word. The righteous man had some food with his brother. Then he returned home. He was amazed that his brother was living patiently with such a ridiculous wife.

A year later, as usual, the man came to visit his brother and knocked on his door. His wife asked, "Who?" he said. She said, "I am your husband's brother in the way of Allah, so-and-so," and his wife said, "Welcome, welcome." Sit down and he will come, insha'Allah, safe and sound. " The man was amazed at his wife's sweetness and politeness. At that moment, his brother came through the wood. The man was even more amazed. His brother came and greeted him and invited him inside. His wife prepared food for them and invited them to dinner with sweetness. Before leaving, the man said to his brother, "I wanted to ask you something." Brother: "What?" He said, “When I came last year, your wife was rude and cursed a lot, and you brought firewood to the lion. The beast was waiting for your command. And this year, your wife is sweet, not cursing. But you came through the wood yourself. What is the reason for this? ” he asked. His brother replied, “Brother, that foolish wife of mine has died. I was patient with his immorality and actions. Although living with him was frustrating, it was probably because I persevered that Allah subdued that lion to me, which would ease my pain. When my wife died, I married this righteous woman. I live happily with this blessed, mute woman. Therefore, the lion did not come and I had to come through the fire myself. ”

We ask Allah to be patient with what He loves and is pleased with. Surely He is the Beneficent, the Merciful.

 

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